...So Please Remember Me and My Friends When You Plan This Year's After Hours Christmas Party

Hello, my name is John and I am an introvert. There have been many myths associated with the definition of introvert/extrovert, so before I go any further, I want to make sure you understand the definition.

The definition of an introvert/extrovert can best be summed up by a question, and that question is: Where do you get your energy from? Introverts get their energy from being alone while extroverts get their energy from being with other people. Remember the key word in this definition is energy and according to Pamela Hollister, author of The People Process, 50% of Americans are extroverts and 50% are introverts.

My extroverted friend does not think that I like people. That cannot be further from the truth. I love people. I love being around people, just not 24/7 like him.

I do not have a full after work schedule like my extroverted friend either. On Monday, my extroverted friend gets together with his other extroverted friends to watch Monday Night Football. Tuesday's are reserved for coaching his little league football team (basketball in the winter and baseball in the summer). Wednesday night is church night, and he attends an after hours business social on Thursday. When I see him during the week, all he talks about is how he cannot wait for the weekend to get here so he can go canoeing or mountain climbing with his travel club. No, we introverts have to draw the line somewhere. Even that man who lived 2,000 years ago had to escape to the mountains to get away from it all every now and then.

I think you should know that I am around people all day long every day of the week. I am a sales person. I love being in sales, and I love meeting new people. Last year I was my division's top sales person. That's right. Introverts can be outstanding sales people. Remember, it is all about the "energy". That is why I guard mine so dearly. I have to plan well so that I do not waste my energy.

If I have a full week of sales presentations, promotions, events and meetings, Friday nights are usually spent relaxing. I may go out to dinner with one or two friends, but I am comforted by the fact that it is Friday, and the weekend belongs to me. For me, there is nothing better than being in control of my Saturday and Sunday schedule.

My extroverted friend does not understand me at all. For instance, one day we were talking and he said that he could not believe that I was an introvert. He said, "How can you be an introvert? You told me that you attend football games every Saturday, and I know there must be at least 85,000 people in that stadium." I responded by telling him that I do not speak to every one of those people and that I usually just converse with the two or three people in my section, who by the way, I have known for years. Being part of a crowd is okay with me. You will never see me behave like my extroverted friend, though. When he enters a crowded room, he makes it a point to try to speak to everyone. When I enter that same room, I try to find someone that I know and hold court with them. I guess you could say that the major difference between me and my extroverted friend is this: After being around people all day long, at the end of the day, I would rather go home, recline and relax whereas my extroverted friend would rather meet friends.

Being self-aware is an important aspect of servant leadership. Only after understanding yourself can you gain full knowledge of understanding others, so when you extroverts out there begin planning this year's after hours office Christmas party, particularly on a Friday night (Heaven forbid on a Saturday night), just remember that while half the people at the party are thinking of the event as fun, the other half may be thinking of the party as an extended work day.

Happy Holiday Season Everyone!

Kelvin Redd