Remain calm. Remember the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." We have no control over the national debt or the rising cost of health care, so we have to let those go. But there are things that we do control - such as how we spend and save. When we make the distinction, we carry less of the world on our shoulders.
Try to keep a positive attitude. Did you know that most stress is self-induced? We create our stress by the way we choose to think about things. For instance, let's say the 401-K that you're depending on for retirement income is tanking. You can choose to think of yourself as an old person pushing a grocery cart along the streets OR you can choose to think about the extra shares of stock you can buy while the prices are low. Changing the way you view a problem won't make it go away, but it can do two things: it can change the way you feel about the situation and reduce your stress, and it can change the way you deal with a situation - from a fear-based place to a hope-based place.
Get a clear view of your money situation. You need to know where you stand. You need to know what you have, what you owe, what you make, and where it goes. When the numbers are tallied, it may be that things aren't as dire as you feared. But even if your worst fears are realized, at least you know it and won't be caught off guard. The sooner you start addressing the situation the better.
Focus on solutions. When faced with the sometimes stark reality of money problems, it's easy to get angry and blame others. But don't go there. Pointing fingers won't get you where you want to be. Focus on accepting the situation you are in right now and working on a plan to create a brighter financial future. For example, if you fear your job will be eliminated, look for ways to make yourself more valuable to your company.
Work together. Put all your financial information on the table for your family to see and discuss. Financial issues are family issues, so be sure to include your spouse and your children in recognizing the problem and coming up with solutions. This is a good time to pull together. When you start managing money as a team, you are much more successful, and you may find it improves your relationships with family members as well.
Get help. There are financial counselors in the community that will provide an objective overview of your situation and help you strategize ways to improve your financial standing. You'll want to do some research on the various organizations offering this service. Consumer Credit Counseling is a low cost alternative to some of the more pricey services. Realize, too, that money problems create significant stress in families. In fact, they are one of the leading causes of divorce. Talking to a counselor can help alleviate the stress and keep you focused on the goal. More than 150 area companies provide the Pastoral Institute's Employee Assistance Program or Caring for the Mind program to their employees. These free counseling sessions can be used to talk about stress and money-related issues.
Get educated. We are not born knowing how to manage money. Unfortunately, most people also didn't learn it at school either. But it's never too late to learn. Read books and magazines (to save money, use the library), talk to professionals, take money management workshops, talk to friends, share ideas, check out the internet (there are lots of good sites), watch television programs (Suze Orman has a show on CNBC). The information is there.
Explore your own attitude toward money. Think back to your childhood experiences that revolved around money. How did your parents manage money? How did their attitude about money influence yours? Times change. What worked for your parents may not work in today's economic climate. Discussing your financial background with your spouse could lead to good conversation and better understanding between you.