| Join Our List
|
|
|
|
| Volume 3 Issue 2 |
February 2009
|
|
|
Greetings Journey Readers,
All the hearts and flowers in the stores and the matchmaking services being advertised on television started me thinking about relationships this month. Matchmakers (like e-harmony) require participants to fill out a lengthy questionnaire about themselves that is shared with possible partners. The questions require you to think about everything from the way you handle money to how you act when you get angry. It occurred to me that perhaps in "real-time" we don't ask one another those kinds of questions face to face. This month's Journey has some questions for you and your partner to discuss.
Wishing you happy relationships in 2009.
Wishing you the best,
Delane Chappell, Editor |
|
Getting to Know You
|
|
How do we express our love? In February, we give red roses, candy in heart-shaped boxes, boxer shorts with hearts, heart-shaped jewelry, mushy cards and maybe a night on the town.
While its fun to be treated special, we have to remember that these things are fluff, icing on the cake created by marketing experts who have convinced us that we aren't loved or we don't love unless we give gifts.
In these difficult financial times, perhaps there is another approach we can take that might lead to a better, more meaningful relationship. This month's Journey is about getting to know your partner more intimately and letting the partner know you more intimately. The questions below are intended to start conversations between you that are engaging, stimulating and fun.
A couple of thoughts before you start. Remember that the purpose of these questions is to get you to understand one another better. Please do not discount one another's opinions or ideas. Allow the other person to fully express him/herself. Be respectful. If you find that the questions stir up unexpected emotions, it might be helpful to talk to a counselor together.
The Pastoral Institute has a Prepare and Enrich program that may be perfect for you. This program, which has high levels of validity and reliability, is based on a set of five inventories that examine major relationship issues a couple may experience. There are six goals of the PREPARE/ENRICH Program. In order to achieve these goals there are also six corresponding couple exercises designed to help couples improve their relationship skills.
The six goals are:
- To explore relationship strengths and growth areas
- To learn assertiveness and active listening skills
- To learn how to resolve conflict using the ten step model
- To help the couple discuss their family-of-origin
- To help the couple with financial planning and budgeting
- To focus on personal, couple and family goals
The inventories are administered by a trained Prepare/Enrich counselor and include four to six feedback sessions in which the counselor facilitates discussion between the couple based on their inventory. Through a Georgia Family Council grant, couples can take the inventory at no cost this year only. For the counseling sessions, you may use the Employee Assistance Program sessions your company provides at no cost to you.
Now, on to the discussion questions -
- What is your favorite season and why?
- What is your favorite book?
- If you could visit anyplace in the world, where would you go?
- What is your favorite food?
- What is your favorite city?
- What was your most memorable childhood moment?
- As a child, what was your biggest fear?
- What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?
- Who has influenced your life the most?
- What was your most embarrassing moment?
- If you could go back and change any one thing in your past, what would it be?
- What thing are you most proud of?
- If you won the lottery, how would you spend the money?
- What bad habit do you have that you'd like to break?
- Do you believe in God or a higher power?
- What is the difference between love, romance and sex?
- What are your hopes for the future?
- If you were granted three wishes, what would you wish for?
- What do you want to be doing in the next five years?
- What do you feel passionate about?
- What two areas of your life would you like to improve?
- Are you a morning or night person?
- What do you do when you feel sad or depressed?
- What do you do when you feel angry or upset?
- Are you competitive?
- What three words best describe you?
- What is your biggest pet peeve?
- Do you enjoy time outdoors?
- Do you save for a rainy day?
- A man's greatest fear is .......?
- A woman's greatest fear is ....?
- Is romance an important part of a relationship?
- What do you love about your partner?
- What is love?
- Is jealousy part of love?
- Are friends better lovers?
- Do you think love can conquer all?
- How did you know you were in love?
- What are three things you really appreciate about your partner?
- How do your differences complement one another?
- What is the most meaningful thing your partner has ever said to you?
- Is honesty always the best policy, even if it hurts?
- What is a woman's role in a marriage?
- What is a man's role in a marriage?
- Do you believe marriage is forever?
- If you could change one thing about your relationship with your partner, what would it be?
- What are the benefits of marriage?
- How should we handle arguments?
- What would make you consider divorcing your partner?
- Who should manage the money?
- How did your parents manage their money?
- Is it a problem if the woman makes more money than the man?
- How would you handle a debt problem?
- If you became addicted to gambling, would you tell your partner?
- Do you like children?
- How would you discipline your children?
- Would you raise your children the way your parents raised you?
- Do you feel sex is an important part of a happy relationship?
- What is the difference between having sex and making love?
- What area in your sexual relationship would you like to improve?
- What do you think is your best personality trait?
- What do you regret that you've done in the past?
- If you spent an entire day alone, what would you do?
- How important is your career to you?
- What is the best job experience you've ever had?
- What is the worst job experience you've ever had?
- What things really irritate you?
- When you are feeling down, how do you cheer yourself up?
- How do you feel about the current political leaders?
- Are you introverted or extroverted?
- On a scale of 1-5 with 5 being very tidy, how would you rate yourself?
- What is your favorite way to celebrate the holidays?
- Are you a country person or a city person?
- Do you think that you are good with people?
- Do you judge people quickly?
|
| COUNSELOR PROFILE |
|
 Angela Nelms-Griffin, LMFT
Angela Nelms-Griffin received a Bachelor of Arts degree in social work from Auburn University in 1997 and a Master of Science degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Auburn University in 2000. She has been licensed as a marriage and family therapist for six years. Working in the public and private sector for eight years, she provided individual and family therapy to children and adolescents. Mrs. Nelms-Griffin has been trained in the Prepare and Enrich program. |
COUNSELOR PROFILE
|
|
 Bobby McGowan, Ph.D.
Dr. Bobby McGowan is a licensed psychologist at the Pastoral Institute in Columbus, Georgia. He has practiced psychology for 16 years. Dr. McGowan specializes in marital counseling and is certified in the Prepare and Enrich program.
He has taught graduate-level courses in marital counseling and also provided workshops on topics related to marriage in the community. He provides psychological services for individual adults focusing on anxiety and mood disorders in addition to grief counseling. He has particular interest in mind/body interaction in the formation of human behavior and the integration of psychology and theology.
Dr. McGowan has consulted with current and emerging executives for the Leadership Institute at Synovus and for the W. C. Bradley Co.
| |
| Journey is a monthly
publication of the Business Resource Center of the Pastoral Institute.
It is our hope that you will find something in its pages that will help
you on your life's journey. The Employee Assistance Program provided by
your business or organization makes counseling services available for
you and your family. To make an appointment in Columbus, call
706-649-6500; in Lanett, AL call 334-644-1172; other locations, call
800-649-6446 for a referral in your area. Counseling is confidential. |
|
a division of the Pastoral Institute
| |
|
